Ephesians 5 - Submission

When Allan and I were getting ready to get married, we talked a lot about the meaning of the traditional vows. We decided to say our vows without the pastor leading us (I admit I did have to use a cheat sheet - public speaking nerves were not any less then). We discussed our views on "headship", which we both admitted we didn't really understand, and we didn't really resolve any thoughts on that. And we worked through surname importance, with Allan suggesting he take on my surname, but in the end just each keeping our own (my family loss playing a large role in that decision for me). Over the years we've driven the gravelly road of what possibly could be the biblical definitions of "submission" and "headship" and how that is supposed to play out in our western culture and 2000s time. Which brings me to some thoughts on Ephesians chapters 5 and 6. Just some thoughts right now (September 2022) - don't hold me to these in years to come as God continues to make himself known better to me as well....

In my ESV Bible, Ephesians 5:1-20 is titled "Walk in Love". This title comes from the "introductory" sentences of that chapter, but the first word of that section is "therefore", and we all know when we see a "therefore", we need to find out what it's there for .... So, back it up to chapter 4, where Paul is talking about living in unity in the body of Christ - a unity of faith that gives us a deeper knowledge of the Son of God. And then he leads into how this new experience of being united with Christ causes us to live in a way that blesses others as Christ's united body, ending with "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you". So now (chapter 5:1-20) we walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us - and the section ends with "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ". 

Just like we had to read vs 1-20 in light of what came before, we now also need to read vs 22-6:9 in light of what came before it. Paul exhorts the Ephesians to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and then breaks it down, to show what that looks like. 

        Everyone: SUBMIT to one another out of reverence for Christ
            Wives: SUBMIT
            Husbands: SUBMIT (using an alternative word - LOVE)
            Children: SUBMIT (OBEY)
            Fathers/Parents: SUBMIT (DON'T PROVOKE)
            Slaves: SUBMIT (OBEY)
            Masters: SUBMIT (DO THE SAME TO THEM)

There's something really helpful about chapters, paragraphs and subheadings etc. in our Bibles, because our western eyes and brains have trouble with big chunks and run-on sentences etc. But let me tell you a secret someone told me before: Shhh - the chapters, paragraphs and subheadings are not part of the original Bible. Why does knowing that matter? Because if we understand that, we don't need to be bound by them. Sometimes chapters, paragraphs and subheadings make us forget that we need to look back and forth for context (thank goodness for "therefores" that remind us to check what they're there for...). Paul didn't write chapter 5: 22-33 especially for wives and husbands, as the subheading in the ESV suggests. He wasn't trying to say - wives and husbands, if there's nothing else in this letter you have time for, then at least read this.... He wrote a letter, to a church. He told the church to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And then he gave examples of how people should live into that submission. He showed how everyone could submit to everyone. Wives to husbands, husbands to wives, children to parents, parents to children (what??), slaves to masters, and even masters to slaves (wait-what??). I actually think he started out with wives, because it was an easy one to swallow, and the men (and probably most women) listening would start gravely nodding their heads, yep...yep. Then, a little jolt of discomfort to the men (and a little twinkle of light for the women), as he starts to talk to the husbands... but OK, they'll work through that. Then back to submission by kids, yep...yep (kids slink down in their seats). Then a bigger jolt - parents, you need to submit to your kids too, you know (hang on, maybe submission is a bit more complicated than we thought it was - and note: the kids suddenly sit up a little higher and look a little more like they feel valued), and then ending off (after reminding slaves to submit to their masters) by saying even masters need to submit to their slaves.... (side note: do you see how the value of each part of the body is also played out here, as we think through the emotions of the people listening to these examples???)

So what is submission in the letter to the Ephesians about? Being imitators of God, as his beloved children. Walking in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. No filthiness, no darkness - walk as children of the light. Walk as wise people. Be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. All of us, to each of us, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

Is it going to be easy? No. And that's why we keep reading Paul's letter and he encourages us with the promise of God's strength in us. This is not just a fight between people submitting to each other or not, or people liking the idea of submission or not. This struggle is just the start. Take on God's strength to help with this struggle, because there are bigger fights you need to be readied for - cosmic stuff. Take up the whole armour of God, so that you will be able to stand firm when it gets to that. And know that the initial work you've put into this unity stuff (submission to each other and all that) is worth it, because we're going to need to stand united when the evil day comes....

"Righteous" Indignation

 Matthew 26 is a chapter that's full of indignation. Each indignant person in this chapter is convinced it's righteous indignation (except Peter right at the end - that's basically just practiced indignation). Only Jesus' indignation is actually righteous, and, wait, even though he could in all fairness be indignant in this chapter of Matthew, he actually isn't.

Matthew 26:8. The disciples are indignant at the woman's blatant waste. That money could have been spent on serving the poor. They were righteously indignant, as we should be when money is not spent wisely, stewardly, with thought to those whom Jesus' prioritizes. Clearly. But, hang on. Jesus says no. "She has done a beautiful thing". Look deeper - what is this all about? What is religion all about? "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39) The second love is like the first, because it depends on it. Loving your neighbour doesn't stand alone. "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19) How did God show his love to us? "God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9). The woman was an example to Jesus' disciples and to us ("wherever this gospel is proclaimed") because she knew that in order to love others best, we need to love our Saviour first. So wait a sec before you get indignant. Where is Jesus in this story you are indignantly judging? Look for Jesus first, and then make sure to look for his way forward. 

Matthew 26:33-35. Peter is indignant because he knows for sure he will never fall away. He will never deny Jesus. Never. Not even by the end of the day. Jesus shakes his head lovingly and says, "Well, actually...." A little humility goes a long way, Peter. And Alice. "Though they all fall away... I will never". Others will, but not me. Hang on a second, is that chunk of bark in the way of my view of all those others who will likely fall away from Jesus? Let me work on getting that log out of my eye first. 

Now there's a little "no indignation" intermission. All of Jesus' disciples fall asleep during his most sorrowful hour. "Wake up, friends, you can sleep some more later. My time has come." Note: no indignation here from Jesus, even though it deserved all the indignation. Indignation would look something like: What the heck?? My toughest time and you couldn't even support me then?? That's not Jesus' reaction.

Matthew 26:51. One of those who was with Jesus gets physical in their indignation and cuts off an enemy ear with their sword. What a courageous and loyal, righteously indignant friend. They were there when Jesus needed them. Got them right on the ear too! But Jesus says - no. That's not my way. I don't need you for this. You have other tasks to do and roles to fulfill in my kingdom. Cutting people's ears off is not one of them. Jesus didn't need this indignation, because he has God almighty, all-powerful, magnificent on his side. Alice, go ahead and do the other things you are equipped to do and leave the protecting up to the perfect protector. "God is our refuge and strength ... Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth" Psalm 46:1&10. Be still does not include physical outbursts of indignation, but simply trusting that God's got the protection of his people and his Holy Name in hand.

Matthew 26:65. The high priest tears his robe and calls out "Blasphemy!" Righteous indignation against the blaspheming of his God's Holy Name. Standing up for God at the final hour. At that final hour where this call of indignation seals the deal for Jesus' death.... Huh, what happened here? In their "righteous" indignation they turned out to mistakenly be on the wrong side. In my "righteous" indignation I could possibly be too.... Am I sure that God is on side with my indignant call for justice/right/judgment?

Now I am sitting outside the courtyard. Someone comes up to me and says, "You also were with that man that no-one likes, who is being ridiculed and whipped (insinuation: you should probably be ridiculed and whipped too)". I'm really well-versed in indignation, and as above sometimes even get indignant for the wrong reasons and when I'm just kind of scared (e.g. of being ridiculed or whipped). And so I (indignantly) deny it before them all, saying, "I don't know what you mean." And when I go out to the entrance, another person sees me and says to the bystanders, "This woman is one of them - a Jesus follower". And again I deny it with an oath (getting more indignant): "I do not know the man." After a little while the bystanders come up and say to me, "You definitely are one of them, you sound like them." Then I begin to invoke a curse on myself and to swear (full-on indignant over here) "I do not know the man." (I'm really scared and just want to be left alone in my small corner). And immediately the rooster crows. I remember the saying of Jesus, "You too will deny me." 

And I go out and weep bitterly.

Bitter weeping is the only place my "righteous" indignation gets me.

Thank goodness Jesus still looks on me with love (Luke 22:61)

Questions

 

God’s original plan:

Genesis 2:

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,

and flesh from my flesh!

She will be called ‘woman,’

because she was taken from ‘man.’ ”

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

 After the fall into sin:

Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

Dane Ortland in Gentle and Lowly, p. 31 quotes Jurgen Moltmann, summarizing his thoughts: “We are so used to a fallen world that sickness, disease, pain and death seem natural”. This is the same with views of men and women, and also roles in marriage. “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” is a curse, not an explanation of how God wants things to be in his kingdom between husband and wife. God’s original plan was that man and woman would both be different (woman created differently from man), yet the same (“bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh”). This reality was not put there for any authority, control, submission or rule. This reality explains “why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united as one”. 

Do you know how we could live into this kingdom plan, in a counter-cultural way? Godly men could give up their last names (“leave his father and mother”) and take up their godly wife’s last name as they are united into one. What would the world look like if Christians did this?? How would “headship” look if men loved their wives in this way? 

Ephesians 5:

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.